From sexual harassment to hostile colleagues: readers' experiences of life with a disability

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Worst, by far, have been the ghosts’

I’ve just started using a symbol cane (a shorter version of the cane most people associate with blindness) in public. I’m progressively losing my sight due to a congenital nerve disorder, and was tired of bumping into everyone and the understandably irate responses that followed. The cane, I thought, would solve all that. How wrong I was.

Any benefit I’ve received is mitigated by my negative experiences. Some of the worst of these have been with people who try to “test” me. I’ve had people deliberately stand in my way to see if I move around them; one lad tried to run me down with his bike; another started waving his hands in my face to see if I reacted. I’ve also had a fair bit bit of unwanted guidance: people grabbing my arm or touching me without permission in order to steer me. Personally, I find it rather alarming to have a complete stranger manhandling me, no matter how benevolent their intentions. 

But the worst, by far, have been the “ghosts” – a polite term for a pretty ghastly phenomenon. I’ll be sat in a cafe, minding my own business, with my cane at my side. A man (so far they’ve all been men, and I have speculated whether this is a new, bizarre form of sexual harassment) will plonk himself, uninvited, at my table without a word, then just sit and stare at me. When I challenge them, they don’t respond; they just shift about in their seats, ignoring me. Every time, there have been empty tables they could have sat at instead.

This has never happened when my cane wasn’t visible, and I now make sure it’s folded away so that I appear “sighted”. I can think of no excuse for this level of intimidation and harassment. It’s massively affected my confidence, and I’m seriously beginning to question whether using the cane is worth the bother. But why should I feel forced to relinquish something that has been so useful in other respects? Daisy Higman


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